You don’t have to travel far in Molvania to come across the name SzlonkoBusjbusj (1891–1948). Known as the Father of Modern Molvania, or more affectionately as ‘Bu-Bu’, this pioneering statesman has roads, bridges, statues, rivers and even a communicable disease named after him. And it’s little wonder considering his numerous achievements as Prime Minister for several terms during the tumultuous 1930s. During that period Busjbusj managed to
* de-regulate the country’s tractor industry
* shorten the alphabet by 33 letters
* re-introduce the wheel
* reduce the maximum working weekend from 18 to 16 hours
* tie Molvania’s currency (the strubl) to the Latvian lit
* establish the ‘Balkan 7’, a loose regional confederation of land-locked republics
* amend the Constitution to include a Bill of Rights guaranteeing all citizens the right to bear a grudge
But for all these extraordinary reforms ‘Bu-Bu’ is perhaps best remembered for his visionary economic guidance during the 1932 Great Depression. These were dark days for the world and Molvania; hyper-inflation forced people to walk around with wheelbarrows full of money simply in order to make basic grocery purchases. In a move that out-foxed the global financial community, Szlonko Busjbusj dealt with the problem by declaring wheelbarrows legal tender.
Even after retirement, Busjbusj continued to work tirelessly to unify the many opposing factions in Molvanian politics. He convened, and briefly led, a coalition called the United Party of Tyrants, Despots and Dictators. Unfortunately, as he grew old, his eyesight deteriorated badly – as did his adherence to human rights. Finally, in 1962 this ‘blurred visionary’ (as he was described in a UN War Crimes subpoena) died of natural causes – he was assassinated.
This extract taken from MOLVANIA – a land untouched by modern dentistry